It’s a typical summer day, with the
sun shining too-hot and burning my neck. The trail is filled with bent trees,
their branches reaching toward me with little twig fingers as I pedal. The
trail is lengthy; it curves into the highway and suddenly there are cars to my
left, speeding past me effortlessly. I struggle to keep up my pace, but it
feels like I’m going nowhere compared to them.
I’m at a cycling camp for
teenagers with Type One Diabetes, but it’s my first time on a real road bike.
The gears are foreign to me, and it takes a little practice before I begin to feel
comfortable. We’re biking thirty-six miles this morning- a seemingly impossible
feat for a beginner - but the staff members are sure that we can do it.
After a few miles, the view in
front of me blurs, and only the yellow line on the road guides me along. My
muscles start to carry baggage, a briefcase of sluggish inability, and my mind
slows down, swerving recklessly between wanting to give up completely and
needing to continue. My hands are shaking earthquake-fierce, and I can just tell
that my blood sugar is low.
I want nothing more than to pull
over, check my blood sugar, and take a break, but there are people right behind
me, single file, and it’s up to me to keep going. I can’t stop now. I don’t
want to disappoint myself.
I can see the glorious Budget
truck- our water refill station- in the distance. With renewed energy and a tangible
goal set in my mind, I grip my handlebars and pedal faster. Every last bit of
energy I have is coursing through me and put to use; I don’t think I’ve ever
gone this fast before. Everything is
burning, but it’s a rewarding kind of hurt.
I finally reach the Budget truck,
and Chef Ed and Doctor Mike are there waiting for us. Everyone is filling up
their water bottles before continuing on their ride, but I’m fumbling with my
meter and testing kit. Eventually, I’m able to prick my finger, and the
countdown to my blood glucose reading is shown on the screen- 5, 4, 3, 2, 1- and the reading finally appears: thirty-four
milligrams per deciliter. My heart drops, and I stumble over to Doctor Mike.
“I’m low,” I mumble, my trembling
hand showing him my meter. He sits me down on the back of the truck, and Chef
Ed gives me Sweet Tarts. I chew them quickly, not even tasting the different
flavors, and make myself focus on staying calm as I wait for my blood sugar to rise. I try to think of how I got so low, but my mind is blank. That’s the
thing about diabetes- it’s not an exact science. I can never predict how the
day is going to go, and every action affects my blood sugar. Fifteen slow
minutes later, I check again. One hundred and twenty. I’m okay. I take a deep
breath, thanking Chef Ed for the life-saving snack and getting back on my bike.
Doctor Mike tells me that everyone isn’t that far ahead, and I nod.
Starting slowly, I build up my
stamina again. My mind is still fuzzy, and my body feels drained, but the wind
is blowing around me, and the trees are back to guide me along. I see the other
campers up ahead, and strive to catch up to them. They see me and slow down,
asking if I’m okay. I nod, and we start to race, but I still think about my low.
It’s scary, of course, but a low blood sugar is manageable; I can handle it-
and that’s what is important.
No matter how difficult the
situation is, I know I can keep going. I can push myself beyond my boundaries; no
one- and no disease- can stop me. Sure, sometimes it’s like everyone else is
flying down the highway while I’m the one struggling to pedal on the side, but
speed does not determine success; arriving at the destination, however, is the
true sign of accomplishment. And that’s what I pride myself in doing: arriving.
New obstacles come into life every day, making the distance even harder to
overcome. Rather than dwelling on them, however, it’s better to take those
obstacles at face value and allow them to strengthen the journey. That’s what
makes the destination worth it. That strength, of course, and Sweet Tarts.
Word Count: 750
i loooove this paper! you're such a good writer. i felt like i was the one pedaling that bike. i especially love the line " speed does not determine success; arriving at the destination, however, is the true sign of accomplishment." so inspirational, so clever, amazing job sydney!!! :)
ReplyDeleteoh and your blog is adorable i wish i knew how to make it cute like this okay byez :)
ReplyDeletethis is great Sydney! i love the story that proves your message and the cute ending with sweet tarts! i love the message your sending that you are ready for anything that comes your way even if you feel like you arent accomplishing anything, the point is you are doing something. great essay and style :)
ReplyDeletesyddddd, haha good paper. I like how you made it very personal and emotional and gripping the reader. you wrote it as if it were a book, like im reading a passage out of something. the joke at the end is alil tacky though :P haha
ReplyDeleteYou're just a hater, Nick :P
Deleteugh apparently i have to say constructive criticism under the direction of ms elmeer, and i don't want to because this essay is so awesome! ill just say that maybe you can add about how that you will bring that part of yourself into the college you're sending this too but you dont have to add it cause this essay is perfect :) okay bye!!
ReplyDeleteIf you're not first you're last, dead last in fact, alphabetically that is, but that doesn't mean your essay will waste away in wait. First off, it was very conversational, and I would consider it more of a diary entry than a book, which, in my opinion, is way better than just being book-like, being that is a ton more personal. I also loved your short paragraphs, it made it really easy to follow, and added to the diary thing as well, you know I'm notorious for the bad habit of giant wall-like paragraphs, so this might sound hypocritical, but, its way better than the eyesore of walls, and I think its really great. Your topic, obviously, means quite a lot to you, and the story about the topic is even more unique, especially because of all the images you create along the way, which will allow for the college reps to have fun reading along to your story, with anticipation for what the next paragraph installment will share. Additionally, you don's simply state that you're diabetic, and expect them to know, but you don't regurgitate statistical information or facts either, you effectively convey it all quietly without imposing much, with your daily actions to cope as a diabetic (which also gives good imagery and personalization!), and you also don't complain about your disease at all, but tell the story of how it defines you and makes you a better person. However, some of the lingo you use about diabetes could be sort of obscure, HOWEVER, i think that you give enough context and hints for it not to be much of an issue, and I don't really want you to change much, if anything at all. Also, I, on the other hand, really liked the joke at the end, it didn't take away from your serious message, but it allowed for your tone to keep the hopeful and less serious sound, taking away from the extreme seriousness of diabetes and putting in a positive outlook on the situation. I enjoyed reading this quite a bit, and i didnt see any overt grammar or structure errors. I had read it before, but you already had 3 comments (3 additional but not criticism...)so I chose to criticize others that had very few, so they didn't get left out. As for Stetson, I'd say, if it lets you put all 750 in, you should deff go for it, I think they'd be more pleasantly surprised than angry. Once again, I loved what you did, truly, I'm not just saying that to be nice, although I never want to come across as mean anyway, but, you get the picture, I'm not being insincere when I say it.
ReplyDeleteI'm such a beast for making people say negative things. It helps though to have both the negative and the positive. I really love how easy and pleasant this is to read. I like the twig fingers of the trees. I think it is a nice piece, and it is written really well. I think you can add a few more obstacles that you have overcome. You may just mention them as if they were stores or road blocks or warning signs along the way of your journey - you know - things that may have tripped you up - but didn't. It can be something simple like deciding not to join a club that everyone else has joined but making a few of your own clubs instead, or it can be something more complex - like helping your little sister on a daily basis with her homework and being adult enough to regulate your illness. I think you can easily insert these things near the end of your essay and just add them to the list of things you were able to surpass while still enjoying the journey. Let me know if you need more help. Other than that one addition, I think you should go for it. I do not see any grammar errors. I will check again.
ReplyDeletep.s. everyone = not their but his or her...gummy bears are better than sweet tarts. And tell them how you have joined cross country and continue to trek on through the heat challenging yourself too.
ReplyDelete